> get promoted after realizing I don't really want it.
> get put on big project, seems like easy money. Turns out it's annoying and sucks hard.
> "Fuck it", I'm checked out anyway. Don't really do much. Spend tons of OT time watching TV.
> Project ends up half-done, half works at deadline, but this is somehow a huge success compared to past efforts. Get praised, CEO himself comes down to thank me and give me a bonus for all the extra hours I pulled. Buy myself a new pistol with money made not working.
> Guy comes in one day, company is really screwing him over. Help him out because he's pretty cool about it, seems like a good guy. Didn't really do much, but he was happy about the effort.
> Get called into office by management a few weeks later. Jig must be up, they've figured out I'm not doing anything. Oh well. Time to pack up my shit, how do I hide the booze bottles?
> Nope. PROMOTION! Turns out the guy I helped was a Big Name, said lots of good stuff. Management wants me in new role ASAP, working out new pay, etc.
> Take new role. More work, but the pay should be worth it. Not really happy with it, but I lucked out and got about the easiest load possible, though it's still a beast.
> Pay is finalized after about a month. Completely laughable raise over previous position, not even retroactive. Coworkers who got same offer get pissed, tons of talk of mass walkout.
> Get shuffled around right after this. End up with almost no workload at all through luck.
> Micromanagement on the rise, not enough people to do the work, everyone's underpaid. Most of the place is on the verge of quitting.
> Still do nothing. Still get paid for it. Still get praised by management.
Honestly, at this point I'm just getting my personal life sorted out. Soon as something changes for the worse (which I'm expecting soon), I'm done. In the meantime, pic related every time anyone talks to me, especially when the execs took me out for drinks.