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Patches and Stickers for sale here

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101060 No. 101060 ID: 1fb1a6
Local news stories that lack significance outside their stagnant little backwaters go here.
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>> No. 101067 ID: 267cfc
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first post
>> No. 101070 ID: 5bb655
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A Florida high school that last week told a student to stop adding the phrase "God bless America" when reading scripted morning announcements, announced on Tuesday his use of the phrase does not violate the U.S. Constitution.

The principal at Yulee High School, located in north Florida near Jacksonville, had told the student to stopping use the phrase after receiving a six-page letter from the American Humanist Association, a group that describes itself as advocating for humanists, atheists and secular governance.
>> No. 101084 ID: 9e2974
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After stripping off her clothes, a Florida woman walked into traffic, where she performed a lewd act before climbing atop a Lexus and jumping and stomping on the occupied vehicle’s roof and hood, cops allege.

Amie Carter, 31, “appeared to be under the influence [of] a heavy unknown substance," according to an Orlando Police Department report detailing her antics Sunday night. "She appeared in an altered mental state, displaying extremely irrational and volatile behavior."

Responding to a 911 call about a “reported naked woman climbing on top of cars and walking in traffic,” cops found Carter attempting to mount a vehicle stopped at a traffic light. After officers wrestled an uncooperative Carter out of the roadway, they “secured her in handcuffs and covered her in a blanket.”

Sarah Carlson, a passenger in the Lexus, told police that Carter approached the vehicle and “fondled herself in front of the car” before climbing on the auto. Carter then allegedly “started stomping” on the vehicle’s hood, said Carlson, who added that Carter also threw a cell phone at the car behind the Lexus.

Carlson’s husband told cops that Carter left dents in his car’s roof and hood, damage he estimated at upwards of $1500.

Carter, seen above, was arrested for criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs. She was booked into the Orange County jail, where she remains locked up in lieu of $1100 bond.

According to court records, Carter’s rap sheet includes prior arrests for narcotics possession, theft, resisting arrest, burglary, drunk driving, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

>> No. 101085 ID: 9e2974
There was a chaotic scene at an Ocoee movie theater when hundreds of teens stormed the building, trying to get in for free, according to deputies.

The incident happened Saturday night at the AMC Theater at the West Oaks Mall.

Orange County sheriff's investigators said up to 900 middle and high school students tried storming the theater. Deputies said about 200 students were able to get inside the building before the security gates were closed.

"(It's) a big concern to us that are juveniles are doing this at such an early age," said Orange County Sheriff's Office Lt. Paul Hopkins.

Investigators said as the crowd was being taken from the area, several fights broke out in the parking lot.

Ocoee police on Monday said officers discovered about 300 teens causing a disturbance. Officers dispersed the crowd after many of them stormed the theater. One person was arrested at the theater on charges of battery and resisting arrest.

Gunfire was also reported and someone was robbed at gunpoint, but Ocoee police said on Monday that the shots turned out to be firecrackers. Police also said it wasn't believed that the robbery was connected to the theater incident. Three teens were arrested on allegations of stealing cellphones from two other teens at a nearby location, police said.

"Everybody just started scattering, ducking underneath the seats," said moviegoer Kenny Johnson. "It was a scary moment."

"These are middle to high school kids who have guns, who are shooting guns, are robbing people, driving stolen cars and they have drugs in their cars," Hopkins said.

Detectives told Local 6 on Monday that they're still trying to figure out who planned the storming of the theater. Police said they're looking into whether it was planned via social media, but they would not discuss any specifics.

The theater announced Monday that anyone under the age of 17 must now be accompanied by an adult after 9 p.m.

Police said it's doubtful any arrests would be made in the incident because they wouldn't be able to prove who had purchased a movie ticket.

>> No. 101086 ID: fd0828
If you're on twitter, you can just follow the following:



That should pretty much have all of these covered.
>> No. 101091 ID: 1fb1a6
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>> No. 101092 ID: 0eda74
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>> No. 101093 ID: 9e2974
RAMPUR: All was going well at the wedding ceremony of 25-year-old Jugal Kishore, a resident of Moradabad, and his 23-year-old bride Indira from Rampur. That's until the "varmala" ceremony, where the groom garlands his would-be wife, began.

Just as he extended his arms to do that, Kishore had an epileptic fit, falling to the ground in front of the whole gathering.

The young bride, angry that her family had been kept in the dark about Kishore's medical condition, promptly changed her mind and announced that she would happily marry at the same ceremony a guest at the wedding, a man called Harpal Singh. The latter, incidentally, turned out to be her sister's brother-in-law.

Singh, caught unawares and dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, fumbled for a moment before declaring he would willingly take Indira as his wife. This time the "varmala" was exchanged between Singh and Indira, which went off without any hitch, with the pandit reciting the mantras and asking the new couple to take the seven "pheras".

Meanwhile, Kishore, who had been rushed to a doctor by his relatives, went back to the venue after he regained consciousness to see that his wife-to-be was now someone else's.

Kishore pleaded with Indira, telling her that he would not be able to face friends and neighbours if he returned without her. His relatives, too, tried to intervene on his behalf. Where persuasion failed, violence was used — spoons, plates and dishes became weapons as wedding guests tried to force the bride to change her mind. But all in vain. The young woman stood firm.

Kishore and his relatives later filed an FIR at the Milak police station in Rampur district, which they eventually withdrew after elders intervened. SHO, Milak police station, RP Solanki said on Monday that cops had detained a few people who were there at the wedding.

"Both families have amicably resolved the matter," Solanki said. "The complaints have been withdrawn. Kishore and his family have now returned in peace to Moradabad."

>> No. 101094 ID: 9e2974
  MAVYILLE | A 92-year-old Horicon man struck nine vehicles Friday while attempting to leave the parking lot of Mountin’s Piggly Wiggly, 1140 Horicon St., Mayville.

The matter remains under investigation by the Mayville Police Department but officers believe the driver panicked and lost control of his vehicle. Driver factors were determined to be a failure to have control and unsafe backing. Neither alcohol nor drugs were present.

The driver was attempting to back out of a parking space while driving a 2007 Chrysler Pacifica. As the driver pulled out, he struck two parked vehicles. The first was a 1998 Saturn SC1 owned by a 67-year-old Horicon man. The second was a 1998 Buick Lesabre owned by a 77-year-old Mayville woman. The 1998 Buick was pushed forward by the force of the crash into a 2005 Pontiac Bonneville, owned by a 53-year-old Mayville woman.

The driver then backed into two vehicles; a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee owned by a 27-year-old Mayville man and a 2011 Chevy Equinox owned by a 36-year-old Iron Ridge woman.

The driver drove forward and struck an additional vehicle, a 2014 Ford C-Max owned by a 63-year-old Beaver Dam woman. The driver then turned out of one of the parking rows and struck a 2005 Ford F150 truck, which was stopped to make a left turn. The vehicle was owned by a 30-year-old Horicon man.

The driver continued forward and struck two final vehicles, a 1997 Buick Park Avenue and a 2003 GMC Sierra owned by a 33-year-old Horicon woman. The 33-year-old Horicon woman was slowing down at the time of the crash.

Ten vehicles were involved in the crash, including the driver’s vehicle. The driver’s vehicle and the 2005 Ford F150 were towed from the scene. Seven of the vehicles involved in the crash were legally parked at the time of the accident.

The Mayville Police Department was assisted on scene by the Mayville Fire Department and Mayville EMS.

The incident remains under investigation at this time. No significant injuries were reported.

>> No. 101097 ID: 097fc9
94 years old man has a medical condition lead footed after paying for the car wash


This is the best version because they dubbed the commercial into it :)
>> No. 101098 ID: bdc075
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The railroad crossing at Blue Heron Boulevard and Old Dixie is closed to all traffic until further notice, due to a train derailment, authorities say.

According to officials, the engine of a northbound freight train derailed 400 feet from west Blue Heron Boulevard, around 6:30 p.m.

There are 20 cars hooked up to the engine. FEC is bringing in a crane to upright the engine.

Authorities say there was a chemical spill, but the Haz Mat team deemed the non-volatile chemicals non-hazardous and the area has been released.
>> No. 101099 ID: cb5ffa
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The ‘90s rapper known as Vanilla Ice has been arrested and charged with burglary and grand theft for allegedly stealing an array of items from a vacant Florida home.

Lantana police told TMZ that furniture, a pool heater, bicycles and other items were stolen from the property in the 100 block of N. Atlantic Drive.
>> No. 101103 ID: 097fc9
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He has a show on DIY channel for flipping houses, I am guessing paperwork didn't go through so the old owner call the cops as he is clearing stuff out for renovation.

>> No. 101106 ID: 095a2b
Yeah I was gonna say the same thing
>> No. 101122 ID: bd328d
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An Illinois man is jailed on domestic battery and child endangerment charges after he allegedly injured a seven-week-old girl when the baby would not stop crying while he watched an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show,” police charge.

Julian Anderson, 25, was arrested yesterday on several felony and misdemeanor charges related to an incident earlier this week at a residence in Aurora.

According to cops, Anderson was watching the “Springer” show when the baby--to whom he is related--began crying. Anderson, seen in the above mug shot, responded by squeezing the infant and placing his hands over her mouth.

Investigators became aware of injuries to the child when Anderson took her to a hospital Monday for treatment of a fever. Hospital workers alerted police after noticing injuries on the baby’s face and back that were consistent with abuse.

During subsequent police questioning, Anderson admitted to roughing up the baby while he was watching the television program.

Now locked up in the Kane County jail, Anderson is facing a pair of felony battery charges, as well as misdemeanor battery, child endangerment, and obstruction counts. He also has outstanding warrants charging him with domestic battery and burglary.

>> No. 101131 ID: 9e2974
A New Jersey tuna fisherman has been accused of shooting at whales from his vessel with a World War II-era rifle.

Cape May resident Daniel Archibald surrendered Thursday to face the charges and was released on a $10,000 unsecured bond.

Authorities say Archibald used a Mosin-Nagant rifle to shoot at pilot whales from the vessel Capt. Bob.

A whale shot with a bullet from such a rifle was beached and then died in Allenhurst in September 2011.

Archibald's lawyer Bill Hughes says there's more to the case than the government says. He questions the decision to prosecute.

It's illegal in the U.S. to hunt, kill, capture or harass any marine mammal.

>> No. 101132 ID: 9e2974
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TULSA - A night out drinking and an argument with his girlfriend nearly cost a Tulsa man his penis.

Officers responded to a Tulsa hospital early Thursday morning where a man claimed his girlfriend attacked him while he slept.

Amber Ellis was arrested for maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon.

According to the police report, the victim said he and his girlfriend were out drinking and began arguing while walking home "about how needy she had become." The couple verbally fought in the apartment until the victim told police Ellis stormed off, slamming the bedroom door.

Police say the victim fell asleep on the couch only to wake up to find Ellis "biting his (penis) off."

The victim told police he fought Ellis off but she hit him in the head with a laptop computer.

Once hospitalized, the victim received several stitches to the base of his penis and was treated for injuries to his head, face, neck, fingers and knee.

Ellis was taken into custody for an interview and ultimately booked into the Tulsa County Jail.

>> No. 101154 ID: 68aa6b
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A large security operation was launched on Tuesday night and the property cordoned off as searches were carried out in the Sliabh Dubh Lane. It followed a report that a number of rounds of ammunition had been discovered at an unoccupied house.

Further searches were carried out yesterday and a number of items removed by police for examination. Police sources said the suspected bullets were subsequently found to be imitation rounds used as buttons on Xbox 360 controllers.

A PSNI spokesman confirmed: "A number of items that were taken away have now been examined and declared to be not suspicious."
>> No. 101155 ID: 885afe
>posted in florida thread
Serv please..
>> No. 101156 ID: 9e2974
Isn't this thread a dumping ground for inane stories in general? Or is it limited to Florida levels of retardation?
>> No. 101157 ID: 1fb1a6

Any story without significance beyond its locality. Usually the only way these stories make it into the mainstream news cycle is by being wacky, so that will be most of them I'm sure.
>> No. 101184 ID: cb5ffa
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>he 29-year-old Swede, who today calls himself “Abdul Samad al Swedi”, grew up in Gothenburg. He converted to Islam during a field trip to Egypt about ten years ago and has since been engaged in a series of tax-funded Muslim organizations.

> Michael Skråmo, 29, took the whole family – his little four children and wife – to the IS-controlled area inside Syria. Now Skråmo filmed a propaganda video outside the Syrian city Kobane where he preaches jihad and calls Swedish jihadists to leave Sweden and join the “holy war”.
>> No. 101202 ID: 9507dc
>He converted to Islam during a field trip to Egypt

If anything maybe Sweden should reign in their field trip budget.
>> No. 101212 ID: aa9a85
Advanced Swedish kebab with self-removal function.
Blatte please go home.
>> No. 101231 ID: 9e2974
A legally blind 93-year-old woman was able to pull an alarm and summon help from neighbors as a stranger battered and then sexually assaulted her in her apartment, the Broward Sheriff's Office said.

About 2:30 a.m. Monday, the woman had taken trash to the receptacle at the end of her hall and was surprised by Clyde Alvims Leandre, 22, of Delray Beach, according to Detective Ian Kuechler.

The incident happened in the Highland Gardens apartments at 331 Northeast 48th St. Each apartment has cords near beds and toilets that activate an emergency alarm as well as a hallway light outside a tenant's door.

"In her condition, with sight issues and she is technically, legally blind, she knew where to reach for that cord when she was forced upon that bed," Kuechler said during a press conference Monday at the Broward Sheriff's headquarters in Fort Lauderdale.

The alarm, her cries for help as well as the light drew the attention of three neighbors who entered the apartment through its unlocked front door, Kuechler wrote in his report.

"Initially some of the other residents of the building attempted to subdue the subject," the detective said. "However, they basically explained that he seemed to have about the strength of 10 men and was oblivious to them being in the room. He continued to grasp on to the female victim and restrained her in her bedroom."

Four deputies responded to a 911 call and also tried to remove Leandre, who was not wearing pants, according to the detective's report.

"He ignored their commands and he was tased," Kuechler said. "It had zero affect on him. They issued several strikes to him, again. It took four men to remove him."

Completely agree with Buddsmith. We need to bring back Freedom of Association and have the right to build racially homogeneous communities.
at 7:23 PM February 25, 2015

Add a comment See all comments

Two deputies' hands were hurt and they were treated at Broward Health North and released. Leandre and the victim were admitted to the same hospital. The woman's back was injured during the incident and she was severely bruised, Kuechler said.

She was discharged from the hospital Monday, according to BSO.

Her neighbor Dan Magill, who lives next door, called the woman "sweet, nice and friendly."

Twila and Kennedy Green, Sr. said their friend had once enjoyed bingo games and other activities at the Northeast Focal Point Senior Center in the city.

"Her vision was keeping her home," Twila Green said. "She's just a very sweet person who didn't deserve what happened. I feel bad for that."

Leandre faces charges of burglary with assault or battery; sexual assault with a weapon; false imprisonment and resisting an officer without violence, the sheriff's office said.

Highland Gardens is a 100-unit complex where residents use key fobs to enter the building's locked front door. Those already inside their homes use an intercom to open the door for guests.

"It's a secure building," Kuechler said. "Ultimately the determination was made that [Leandre] had simply followed another person in who had access to the building."

The detective said surveillance video was being gathered for the investigation.

The apartment building is managed by the Broward County Housing Authority, which is not a part of county government but is a special district created by the state.

"We've had nothing like this before," said Ann Deibert, the authority's chief executive officer. "We're very upset that this happened. We take our families' welfare seriously and want to prevent anything like this from happening again."

The residences are for elderly and disabled people, Deibert said. There is a daytime property manager on site, but there are no security guards.

A tenants meeting will be held to update residents on the situation, Deibert said.

There are monthly meetings when residents are advised to not open the front door for anyone, but she also said, "We don't want to put them in harm's way. Adding security is something that we will take into consideration."

>> No. 101235 ID: 68aa6b
Florida man tries to pay bar tab with a rock, returns later with a faulty credit card, then later with a briefcase that allegedly contained, "a bomb or a baby."A judge has ordered a psychiatric examination for a man who allegedly tried to pay a bar tab with a rock, and then made a bogus bomb threat.

Cops in Tallahassee, Florida say that on Wednesday, Jared Simpson, 24, visited the 4th Quarter Bar & Grill and rung up a $10 tab. When it came time to pay up, Simpson allegedly tried to get the bartender to accept a rock as payment. When the woman decided that a stone wasn't legal tender, Simpson responded by throwing a ripped-up dollar bill at her and saying he "would pay [her] in other ways," according to the probable cause affidavit. One witness said Simpson told people he was "shot up in the war," but would not reveal the military branch he served in because "if I tell you I have to kill you," according to Tallahassee.com.

Simpson left the bar and came back a short time later with a credit card that didn't work, so the employee told him to pay up or leave.
Simpson left again, but came back again, this time in a gray suit and carrying a briefcase that he set down. After warning that "anyone who goes near this will die," Simpson allegedly ran out of the bar and across the street.

When Simpson was apprehended, he told police that the briefcase contained "maybe a bomb or a baby," WCTV.com reports. According to police, the suspect sang a song about being a "rainbow man," and refused to answer any questions about the briefcase other that saying, "I am my own master, I answer to myself, no police have the right to ask questions."
>> No. 101280 ID: c3e6b2
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> Dmitry Nikolaev, 30, is believed to be the target of a gang – including a doctor – which may be harvesting organs to sell on the black market.

> Nikolaev had a drink with a young blonde woman he met at a bar in a Moscow theatre before she invited him to a sauna, reports MailOnline.

> A police source told the website: ‘They kissed and had some more beer and after that the actor remembers nothing.’ They believe Nikolaev’s drink was spiked.

> Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers
It is believed he was targeted by a gang which includes a doctor (Picture: Life News)
He woke up the next day at a bus stop in acute pain and noticed blood on his trousers.

> At the hospital staff told him that his testicles had been removed and that it appeared the operation had been done by a medical professional.

> Police believe the gang is stealing human organs to sell on the black market.



I don't even think testicles can be transplanted, I think this is his wife's doing as revenge/punishment for cheating on her. Lure him with a hottie then cut off his balls.
>> No. 101284 ID: 90a126
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>I don't even think testicles can be transplanted

Probably can't, which makes this all the more horrifying when you start to wonder what exactly they are doing with his nuts.

Most likely they are going to China to be grinded up to help some old man get wood just like they do with dino bones and tiger cock.

Having your pair swinging in another sack is bad enough, knowing they are being snorted by someone is worse.

Though either way that would be a shotgun mouthwash kind of thing.
>> No. 101288 ID: 1c41b6

Jesus fucking Christ.
>> No. 101291 ID: c3e6b2
These few and I mean FEW successful testicle transplant it's always special situation

1. Identical twin, one born with no testicles and the other has a pair, parted one to his twin and both were able to father children

2. Guy is going to chemo so he had one ball put on ice and after cancer was killed by chemo they put the testicle back and he was able to father children.
>> No. 101292 ID: b54382
Might be kept for some weird lab experiment. It's possible to freeze testicles and later grow live sperm from them. But this is a really stupid way to get hands on sperm, I personally know an place where it can be extracted directly from a hole in a bathroom stall by sucking on a tube of flesh.
>> No. 101313 ID: 9e2974
As the deadly carbon monoxide fumes from a gasoline-powered generator filled his lungs, a suicidal Conrad Roy III got scared and stepped out of his truck, but police say his 18-year-old girlfriend goaded him into taking his life with three chilling words: “Get back in.”

Roy, 18, was found dead on July 13 inside his truck in the parking lot of a Fairhaven Kmart. “The sickly sweet taste of exhaust gas still could be detected,” according to police.

Michelle Carter, who was a 17-year-old student at King Philip Regional High School at the time of Roy’s death, faces up to 20 years behind bars on a charge of involuntary manslaughter and will be tried as an adult.

“Michelle Carter not only encouraged Conrad to take his own life, she questioned him repeatedly as to when and why he hadn’t done it yet, right up to the point of when his final text was sent to her on Saturday evening, July 12, 2014 at 6:26 p.m.,” the police report states.

Carter referred to Roy as her “guardian angel,” and continued texting his cellphone 71 times after he died, according to police.

After his death, the messages show Carter morphing into a suicide awareness crusader, hosting a fundraiser in his name and comforting his grieving mother and sister, according to the filings.

The night before Roy’s suicide, Carter texted a friend, seemingly worried about his whereabouts: “I’m losing all hope that he’s even still alive” — and “I’m thankful that our last words were ‘I love you.’ ”

But just before sending that message, she texted Roy: “Let me know when you’re gonna do it.”

Police say Carter never called 911 and instead continued texting her friends, feigning concern.

After Roy’s death, police say Carter exchanged emails with Roy’s mother, Lynn, trying to comfort and reassure her:

“I tried talking him out of it so many times,” Carter wrote, “and telling him how we could always be together and he wanted that but he thought he would never truly be happy with himself.”

She even organized a baseball fundraiser called “Homers for Conrad” that pulled in more than $2,300 for the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

No one answered the phone at Carter’s Plainville home yesterday. But her lawyer, Joseph Cataldo, told the Herald, “It’s a sad story but what we have is a young man who made a voluntary decision to take his own life — it was his voluntary decision — his death was not caused by Michelle Carter.

“It is a slippery slope if the government is now going to prosecute people under a manslaughter — a 20-year felony charge — for not preventing those who want to commit suicide and that’s what they’re trying to do here,” Cataldo said.

Roy’s distraught grandparents called the tale “bizarre” and “mind-boggling” and said they were “shocked” when they heard about Carter’s emails and texts.

“It was just horrible to live this all over again and to find out how this came about. I mean, we knew he was suffering from depression, but we thought he was getting over it all,” Janice Roy, his grandmother, said in her Mattapoisett home.

Asked if they thought Carter’s messages convinced Roy to kill himself, his grandfather Conrad Roy Sr. said, “Her texts had a big influence on what happened.”

Added Janice Roy: It’s hard to say why, but after reading the reports ... I don’t think he would have done anything at that time.”

Both remembered a happy grandson who loved baseball and rowing and was ecstatic when he earned his captain’s license, following in both his father and grandfather’s footsteps.

Conrad Roy Sr. said he took him out on his tug boat when “C3” was just 3-days-old. “That was like the start of the third generation when he got his captain’s license,” Roy said. “That was like the most heart-warming thing that I could remember.”

>> No. 101375 ID: cb5ffa
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>According to recent reports, certain Dalhousie University professors are floating the idea that making sure women and minorities are allowed to speak first on any given subject is an appropriate response to allegations of misogyny and racism on campus.

>Jude Ashburn, who works at an outreach center near the university, said some students – specifically blacks and women – are at a disadvantage because of what has become known as “white privilege.”

>To drive this underlying prejudice home, she said she often begins workshops by telling attendees that “if you’re white and you look like me and you raise your hand, I’m not going to pick on you before someone of color.”

>Citing the inherent benefit she believes white men enjoy on the campus of Dalhousie and other universities, Ashburn stated that “anyone who holds privilege in this culture needs to seriously begin the work of giving up that privilege and learning how to live without it.”
>> No. 101387 ID: 9aea35
Do they even realize if this policy is instituted, they will be the ones with the privilege?
>> No. 101390 ID: 68aa6b
That requires thinking one step ahead.
>> No. 101453 ID: cb5ffa
File 142550107153.jpg - (25.67KB , 418x235 , solararray.jpg )
>“It’s no secret that solar power is hot right now, with innovators and big name companies alike putting a great deal of time, money, and effort into improving these amazing sources of renewable energy. Still, the last thing you’d likely expect is for a new experimental array to literally light nearly 130 birds in mid-flight on fire.

And yet, that’s exactly what happened near Tonopah, Nevada last month during tests of the 110-megawatt Crescent Dunes Solar Energy Project.”

>“According to Rudy Evenson, Deputy Chief of Communications for Nevada Bureau of Land Management (NBLM) in Reno, as reported by Re Wire, a third of the newly constructed plant was put into action on the morning of Jan. 14, redirecting concentrated solar energy to a point 1,200 feet above the ground.”

>“Unfortunately, about two hours into the test, engineers and biologists on site started noticing “streamers” – trails of smoke and steam caused by birds flying directly into the field of solar radiation. What moisture was on them instantly vaporized, and some instantly burst into flames – at least, until they began to frantically flap away. An estimated 130 birds were injured or killed during the test.”

>> No. 101454 ID: 5b9651

This reads like side banter from a Gundam series, I love it!
>> No. 101459 ID: 8fd85b
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>MFW I lived in this complex.
>MFW I almost renewed my lease.
>> No. 101460 ID: e8f72b
Wait, I know a guy from high school who was a good friend of mine who lost a testicle from being kicked in the balls and got a transplant from a black dude. So he has one white ball and one black ball. I know because he wouldn't stop talking about how the black ball is bigger then his other ball.
>> No. 101463 ID: 0dcdc8
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>23 rounds fired
>0 hits
>> No. 101464 ID: 41e65d
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>It is majestic, but it's terrifying. Neighbors in Jacksonville Beach say something is terrorizing the neighborhood from the sky and even attacking people.

>"Out of the blue, it just came right down on the back of my head," He said. 'I just felt like, two talons right on the back of my head, grab and kid of pull away."

>"It flew down and hit my inside my eye and inside my hair and on my forehead,"

>"They're nervous," Frank Forte said. He told FCN his daughter was attacked. "They're going outside...the kids are going out with helmets on. Umbrellas. Even when I go take the garbage out at night. I got a cardboard box over my head."

> "They said it was probably somebody's pet and it was hand-fed. So, it's really not attacking. It's just looking for somebody to feed it."

>Parker said it may sound silly, but the best things people can do until the situation is solved, is to wear a hard hat or carry an umbrella and pop the umbrella up so the bird does not see you.

>> No. 101467 ID: bde470
Maybe it's time to start shooting owls
>> No. 101469 ID: 1f1d62

>OPchan owl threads

brb popcorn
>> No. 101470 ID: e7f332
File 142559055020.jpg - (548.77KB , 1024x473 , bear_species_by_serchio25.jpg )

Oh god not again.

Quick, a distraction!
>> No. 101472 ID: d571f0
Are those adult, or juvenal Bears?
>> No. 101478 ID: 097fc9
File 142561360971.jpg - (52.04KB , 500x362 , 80870811.jpg )
They are juvenal... they are bearly legal
>> No. 101485 ID: 1f1d62
File 142562443516.jpg - (104.55KB , 400x532 , Owlbear.jpg )

A wild owlbear appears!
>> No. 101487 ID: 0dfd3c

>A Florida man who confessed to shooting and killing his neighbor after an alleged struggle brought the dead man's body to his lawyer's office in his pickup truck Wednesday. According to the Fort Myers News-Press, the man "didn't know who else to trust."
>> No. 101489 ID: bde470
Classic florida
>> No. 101498 ID: cb5ffa
File 142567119033.jpg - (20.52KB , 300x300 , thehounds.jpg )

>Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young, famous for his salty tongue and brusque demeanor, suggested Thursday that if he let loose wolves in some congressional districts, they “wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

>The strange comment was made during a halting five-minute exchange with Interior Secretary Sally Jewell during a House Natural Resources Committee hearing on her agency’s budget. He accused her and her department of making decisions without consulting the states they’d affect.

>Young, who supports taking gray wolves off the endangered species list, mocked a letter 79 members of Congress sent urging Jewell to protect the gray wolf population. (In Alaska, for what it’s worth, you can hunt wolves.)

>“How many of you have got wolves in your district?” he asked. “None. None. Not one.”
>> No. 101502 ID: 0dcdc8
File 142568604586.png - (668.89KB , 546x746 , The%2BMost%2BDangerous%2BGame.png )
>> No. 101508 ID: 18cafe
>> No. 101513 ID: 885afe

You guys want to remove the american flag from your campus? Excuse me while we remove your federal funding.
>> No. 101613 ID: 9e2974
File 142617514883.jpg - (116.49KB , 350x435 , akronpooper.jpg )
The police need your help in apprehending the notorious Akron Pooper.

In a state that had already produced one “Poopgangsta,” Ohio cops are trying to identify the man for responsible for defecating on at least 20 vehicles since 2012.

As seen here, the suspect was photographed Tuesday by an Akron city worker who set out to determine who had pooped on his daughter’s car seven times in the past four months.

Police in Akron--previously best known as the birthplace of LeBron James--note that while the subject was photographed as he hovered over the hood of a Dodge Neon, he has also smeared excrement on door handles and even entered unlocked cars and pooped inside.

In one of the earliest reported defecations, a victim reported that someone had--for the second time--pooped on the passenger door of his Toyota. Cops noted that while “The excrement did not cause any damage to the car,” the vile act “did cause a big mess.”

Now that an image of the pasty suspect has been circulated, Akron cops have asked the public to phone tips into them at (330) 275-2552.

>> No. 101712 ID: 13dbd1
>> No. 101714 ID: 5bb72d
We seem to have come full circle.
>> No. 101735 ID: 5bb72d
Some men complain about their wives’ cooking, but could it ever be so bad that you’d kill yourself rather than take another bite? Well, a man in Fujian, China thought so.

Ah-Peng, age 47, started an argument with his wife over the fish she’d made for dinner. The argument got so bad their 17-year-old daughter stormed off in the middle of the meal.

After she left, Ah-Peng continued to rant about his wife’s awful cooking. Then he grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed himself several times before collapsing on bed.

His wife tried to pull him to his feet, but she was unable to lift him and screamed for her daughter. Her daughter called their uncle, who was able to help move Ah-Peng outside.

Ah-Peng died before his family was able to get him to the hospital. Doctors said that he may have had undiagnosed mental illness or depression.

>> No. 101743 ID: 2f1cc2
>Doctors said that he may have had undiagnosed mental illness or depression.

did the doctors try the fish before saying that?
>> No. 101755 ID: e7f332

Jesus fucking christ.
>> No. 101757 ID: 0dcdc8
File 142686322487.jpg - (35.71KB , 662x503 , Death+Race+2000.jpg )

>Police are looking for a driver who shot a woman in rush hour traffic along the North Freeway inbound lanes.

>Deputy constables with Precinct 4 say the woman was driving southbound on the I-45 North Freeway north of Richey when a white truck cut her off, weaving in and out of traffic. The woman says she heard gunshots and glass shatter from her passenger side window.

>The woman called 911 and then pulled over just before the Richey exit. Deputy constables say that's when she realized she had been shot in the back of the head.

>Emergency crews are taking her to the hospital. They say the bullet is still in the back of the woman's head, but she is alert and conscious.

>Deputies are still searching for the gunman. They believe he may have sideswiped at least one other vehicle before possibly taking a U-Turn to head north.

People cutting you off then other driver shoots you. You are either going to drive the right way or be exterminated here in Houston.
>> No. 101766 ID: ca3240
I saw this here and said "Goddamnit, Houston!"

Then I saw it on the news and said to myself, "That was probably more to this than a simple honk of the horn".

Don't get me wrong, nobody should have been shot over an altercation in traffic. But at the same time, nobody goes *beeb-beeb* and gets shot.

I'm guessing this is a case of two irate idiots crossing paths while in their cars, and one idiot had a gun.

I just hope this doesn't have negative impact on the state's vehicular concealed carry law.
>> No. 101767 ID: 7b177d

Totally justified. After dealing with the ridiculous construction delays around 242 every day, or the toll road traffic, that guy could claim temporary insanity and no one would question it.
>> No. 101818 ID: ade23f
File 142719910283.jpg - (42.31KB , 350x263 , image.jpg )
Police in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, say a man is facing a charge of attempted manslaughter after he confessed to shooting his 18-year-old son during an argument over orange juice.

Police tell The Advocate 58-year-old Eldridge Dukes and his son were fighting Sunday morning about the lack of orange juice.

Investigators say the squabble escalated when the victim broke a vase, and Dukes grabbed his handgun.

They say Dukes chased the victim out of the house and down the street, firing at least three times. Police say the son was hit in the buttocks and suffered non-life-threatening injuries.

Dukes was booked into the parish prison on counts of attempted manslaughter and illegal use of a dangerous weapon.

Jail officials couldn't provide the name of a defense attorney to comment on the charges.

>> No. 101819 ID: cb5ffa
File 142722474065.jpg - (96.23KB , 689x768 , jfk.jpg )

>Katherine Byr, a senior at Brown University and a member of its Sexual Assault Task Force, considers it her duty to make Brown a safe place for rape victims, free from anything that might prompt memories of trauma.

>So when she heard last fall that a student group had organized a debate about campus sexual assault between Jessica Valenti, the founder of feministing.com, and Wendy McElroy, a libertarian, and that Ms. McElroy was likely to criticize the term “rape culture,” Ms. Byron was alarmed. “Bringing in a speaker like that could serve to invalidate people’s experiences,” she told me. It could be “damaging.”

>The safe space, Ms. Byron explained, was intended to give people who might find comments “troubling” or “triggering,” a place to recuperate. The room was equipped with cookies, coloring books, bubbles, Play-Doh, calming music, pillows, blankets and a video of frolicking puppies, as well as students and staff members trained to deal with trauma. Emma Hall, a junior, rape survivor and “sexual assault peer educator” who helped set up the room and worked in it during the debate, estimates that a couple of dozen people used it. At one point she went to the lecture hall — it was packed — but after a while, she had to return to the safe space. “I was feeling bombarded by a lot of viewpoints that really go against my dearly and closely held beliefs,” Ms. Hall said.
>"my dearly and closely held beliefs"
And people think Christians are bad.

>But the notion that ticklish conversations must be scrubbed clean of controversy has a way of leaking out and spreading. Once you designate some spaces as safe, you imply that the rest are unsafe. It follows that they should be made safer.

>This logic clearly informed a campaign undertaken this fall by a Columbia University student group called Everyone Allied Against Homophobia that consisted of slipping a flier under the door of every dorm room on campus. The headline of the flier stated, “I want this space to be a safer space.” The text below instructed students to tape the fliers to their windows. The group’s vice president then had the flier published in the Columbia Daily Spectator, the student newspaper, along with an editorial asserting that “making spaces safer is about learning how to be kind to each other.”

>A junior named Adam Shapiro decided he didn’t want his room to be a safer space. He printed up his own flier calling it a dangerous space and had that, too, published in the Columbia Daily Spectator. “Kindness alone won’t allow us to gain more insight into truth,” he wrote. In an interview, Mr. Shapiro said, “If the point of a safe space is therapy for people who feel victimized by traumatization, that sounds like a great mission.” But a safe-space mentality has begun infiltrating classrooms, he said, making both professors and students loath to say anything that might hurt someone’s feelings. “I don’t see how you can have a therapeutic space that’s also an intellectual space,” he said.

Can we just admit that colleges are now infested with communists and reds?
>> No. 101820 ID: eb1ee5
You got it all wrong it's not communism but feel goodiness. Everyone wants to make others think they are good people so they fall into line with this kind of bullshit. It's the same thing that happened with Kony 2012. Everyone started posting it on their social media to make it look like they are progressive, forward thinkers who are in with the latest of the feel goodiness. It's like people these days need to prove that they are good people, when instead they should just be good people.
>> No. 101822 ID: 667a5a
Can't wait for zombies to eat all these people while I'm safe in my bathtub
>> No. 101824 ID: 5bb72d
>> No. 101858 ID: 5bb72d
File 142732443779.jpg - (154.44KB , 625x352 , long_island_dominos_pizza_robbery_0325.jpg )
A larger-than-life robber waving a gun across his hefty frame burst into a Domino’s pizzeria in a quiet Long Island village with an appetite for more than cash, victims said.
The man, believed to weigh at least 350 pounds, robbed the store in Sayville on Tuesday afternoon and demanded an employee serve him two pizzas before he left, Domino’s district manager Robert Warren told CBS2’s Jennifer McLogan in this exclusive report.

“This is the kind of guy we are dealing with here,” Warren said. “It’s odd for this in Sayville”
The suspect then fled on Sunrise Highway.

The crime, which was caught on a security camera, has many in Sayville on edge.
Employee and victim Ray Brenkert recounted the panic.

“I’ve got to do what he says and try to get us out of here alive,” Brenkert said of his thinking during the encounter. ” … He told me get on my knees and open the safe.”
But the safe is time released and won’t open at will.

“When I told him that, he was like, ‘Well, you either open the safe or I’m going to shoot you in the head,'” Brenkert said. “And I was like, ‘Uh oh.’
“I tried to reason with him. I was like, ‘It’s not going to open. There’s nothing I can do.’ And then he got really angry and he took my cellphone, told me get on the ground and pulled the phone out of the wall. And I just did what he said because he had a gun to my head.”

Resigned to a fistful of cash from the register, the hefty robber then spotted the two bubbling pies — large with cheese.
It was approaching dinner hour.

A man robbed a Domino's Pizza in Sayville at gunpoint, demanding two pizzas for himself as well as cash.
“Taking the pizzas at the end is just a crazy twist to a maniacal story to begin with,” Warren said. “He saw the pizzas coming out of the oven and requested my employee to take them out of the oven, slice them up and box them up for him.”
The robber is described as white and 5 feet 8 inches to 5 feet 9 inches tall. He was wearing a mask.
Cops are crediting the workers for following proper protocol.

Police and Domino’s hope to be able to release the surveillance video this week, and investigators think the suspect’s distinctive looks could help lead to his capture.

>> No. 101860 ID: 5bb72d
File 142732468747.jpg - (141.18KB , 400x500 , shanekamoniquetorres.jpg )
A jury today found a Michigan woman guilty of firing a shot into a McDonald’s drive-thru window after employees failed to put bacon on a cheeseburger she ordered.

Shaneka Monique Torres, 30, was convicted of a felony firearms charge after only an hour of deliberations by the panel. Torres, seen at right, faces a minimum of two years in state prison when she is sentenced next month.

Torres fired a single shot into the McDonald’s at 3:10 AM last February 10, according to Grand Rapids police. The gunplay came after Torres and another woman “complained that the order was incorrect,” cops noted.

When a McDonald’s employee walked away from the drive-thru window, “one shot was fired from the suspect vehicle,” reported police, who added that the bullet entered the eatery at “head level” and “traveled through the window, across the dining room, and exited the restaurant through another window on the east side of the restaurant.”

Shortly after the shooting--which did not result in any injuries--cops located Torres and recovered the 9mm Glock handgun used during the bacon rage incident.

>> No. 101881 ID: cb5ffa
File 142739896632.jpg - (116.15KB , 640x640 , didnthaveaflagusedhispants.jpg )

>ACROSS Africa, radio call-in programmes are buzzing with tales of Africans, usually men, bemoaning the loss of their spouses and partners to rich Chinese men. “He looks short and ugly like a pygmy but I guess he has money,” complained one lovelorn man on a recent Kenyan show. True or imagined, such stories say much about the perceived economic power of Chinese businessmen in Africa, and of the growing backlash against them.

>China has become by far Africa’s biggest trading partner, exchanging about $160 billion-worth of goods a year; more than 1m Chinese, most of them labourers and traders, have moved to the continent in the past decade. The mutual adoration between governments continues, with ever more African roads and mines built by Chinese firms. But the talk of Africa becoming Chinese—or “China’s second continent”, as the title of one American book puts it—is overdone.

>The growth in Chinese demand for commodities is slowing and prices of many raw materials are falling. That said, China’s hunger for agricultural goods, and perhaps for farm land, may grow as China’s population expands and the middle class becomes richer.

>Yet Africans are increasingly suspicious of Chinese firms, worrying about unfair deals and environmental damage. Opposition is fuelled by Africa’s thriving civil society, which demands more transparency and an accounting for human rights. This can be an unfamiliar challenge for authoritarian China, whose foreign policy is heavily based on state-to-state relations, with little appreciation of the gulf between African rulers and their people. In Senegal residents’ organisations last year blocked a deal that would have handed a prime section of property in the centre of the capital, Dakar, to Chinese developers. In Tanzania labour unions criticised the government for letting in Chinese petty traders.

pic unrelated.
>> No. 101885 ID: c3e6b2
File 14274062909.jpg - (62.06KB , 652x618 , chinese-man-with-black-african-women-03.jpg )
Here you go pic related, he carry a flash light with him so he can see his wife at night.
>> No. 101890 ID: 885afe
Your Engrish always cracks me up, dont ever change you... dont ever change
>> No. 101900 ID: cfafa0
>whites cucking asians
>blacks cucking whites
>now asians cucking blacks
We've come full circle.
>> No. 101905 ID: cb5ffa

>SAN FRANCISCO — A California lawyer has proposed a ballot measure that advocates killing gays, putting the state’s process of giving citizens the right to make laws at the ballot box to its latest test.

>The state attorney general, Kamala Harris, took the unusual step on Wednesday of asking a court for permission to reject the proposed ballot initiative, which has been called offensive, outrageous, reprehensible and illegal. The initiative states that anyone who engages in sex with a person of the same gender would be killed “by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.”

>Although the so-called Sodomite Suppression Act would undoubtedly be struck down as unconstitutional in the unlikely event it passed, Harris said that unless a judge ruled otherwise, she would have no choice but to give its sponsor the go-ahead to gather the nearly 366,000 votes needed to qualify it for the November 2016 ballot.

>Harris’ action followed weeks of mounting alarm and anger over the initiative, which also would make the distribution of gay “propaganda” an offence punishable by a $1 million fine or banishment from the state, and her lack of authority to quash it.

>California is one of 21 states where citizens can petition to have laws put on the ballot through the gathering of voter signatures. Under California’s initiative process, state officials do not have authority to refuse to administer initiatives they find objectionable, the California Supreme Court has ruled.

>> No. 101994 ID: c3e6b2
File 142792531134.png - (446.97KB , 900x2035 , krillin_with_hair___painted___by_aldiyansaiyan-d33.png )
Meet the Miracle Baby Born Without a Nose


I'll ban myself

(Worth it)
>> No. 101995 ID: 097fc9
File 142793563440.jpg - (22.07KB , 640x320 , landscape-1427826918-11061974-869772113083070-6685.jpg )
What the baby actually looks like.
>> No. 101996 ID: b15403

ayy lmao
>> No. 102000 ID: ee8d44

that's no baby, that's a grey alien larva

the day of the birthing is here

soon they will reap

>> No. 102012 ID: 0dcdc8
File 142800143375.jpg - (118.77KB , 970x1058 , trunk1n-1-web.jpg )
Not to be outdone.

>> No. 102013 ID: cb5ffa
She is the Kalki, destined to lead us out of this Age of Gloom into a new Golden Age of Truth.
>> No. 102014 ID: df12a0

Shit, just this afternoon, I saw a vid of some thing a woman birthed; the head and torso were fused together (no neck), with the "face" appearing to be no more than three dots (possibly the eyes and a nostril, from their placement) and where the mouth should be, looked like a hole ringed with what could have been a single lip. It had four limbs that could have been multi-jointed, but hung limply, like noodles, and each only had a nub a short distance from the terminus of the limb, which implied possible "thumbs."

To whoever's page posted the vid, I posted this in response...
>> No. 102015 ID: bdc075
WE had a school shooting and pursuit all morning up here in tally. Can't find a news article yet. Was lulzy when we asked the cop and he was like 'lul, I don't have my scanner on. They'll call me when something interesting happens / the find him again"
>> No. 102018 ID: 0dcdc8
File 142806907677.jpg - (21.50KB , 575x324 , Interview-with-3-Headed-Human_photo_medium.jpg )

Interview with 3-Headed Human
>> No. 102103 ID: cb842c
>> No. 102111 ID: f9fcc1
File 142834464612.jpg - (137.64KB , 633x1812 , 1427935184019.jpg )
OP Pic: https://twitter.com/JessicaJagsWSB

Stokes is the same teen who received a heart transplant in 2013 after he was originally denied. Doctors had ruled him non-compliant.

"We met with the transplant committee and they told us they were considering all the other stuff, which shocked us," Rev. Samuel Mosteller, President of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference for the state of Georgia, said at the time. "They talked about truancy, they talked about absence in school, juvenile, there was a list in those things - poverty was one of the criteria."

At the time of the transplant, Mosteller said Stokes does not fit the stereotype of somebody who is a criminal.
>> No. 102126 ID: f013be
Is this fucking real?
>> No. 102131 ID: ac904b
Yep, twitter is linked in that post
>> No. 102146 ID: 6951ad

>The day before he put a gun to his head and killed himself at an M Resort buffet on Easter, a Las Vegas man filled a box with his complaints against the resort and its employees and mailed it to the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

>In his final, angry message to the world, delivered to the newspaper Monday morning, John Noble blamed his suicide on depression that set in after the Henderson resort awarded him free meals at the buffet for life then banned him from the property in 2013 for harassing some of the women working there.

>“Today, I end my life due to the M Resort Spa Casino and its employees,” the 53-year-old Noble wrote in one of two suicide notes he included with an obsessively detailed dossier on the people he blamed for destroying his life.

>At about 4:50 p.m. Sunday, Noble shot himself in the resort on Las Vegas Boulevard South near St. Rose Parkway. Henderson firefighters were already at the resort’s parking garage extinguishing a burning vehicle police now say belonged to Noble.
>> No. 102157 ID: cb5ffa
File 142847681045.jpg - (179.89KB , 620x387 , imback.jpg )

>Chokalingam was motivated to commit the fraud by the fact that he had a relatively low Grade Point Average of 3.1. Suspecting that certain US universities were employing affirmative action and positively discriminating in favour of candidates with an African American background, he decided to "test" his theory by rebranding himself as a black man.

>According to his website, as a "black" candidate with a 3.1 GPA, Chokalingam was considered by medical schools including Harvard, Pennsylvania and Columbia, and was eventually accepted by St Louis University in Missouri. He later dropped out, after changing his mind about pursuing a career in medicine, and now works (in a somewhat ironic twist) as a resume writer and graduate school application consultant. He has made it clear that he lied only about his race: all other details on his application were correct.
>> No. 102159 ID: 626b5e
File 142850441096.jpg - (86.34KB , 394x549 , Kali_by_Raja_Ravi_Varma.jpg )

Vijay there is such a master troll. He has slaughtered the SJW's feels. Truly, Kali has blessed him!
>> No. 102163 ID: 09c7e0
this man would have been a powerful wizard had he not visited that prostitute in 1987
>> No. 102170 ID: cb5ffa
File 142853004146.jpg - (69.20KB , 620x387 , brazzers.jpg )

>A 6ft snake discovered by a stunned teenager in a bathroom was recovered by a real-life pet detective.

>Karen Marriott dialed 999 after her 16-year-old daughter Hannah spotted the reptile curled up in a bath mat on a radiator.

>Craig Wallace, a detective based at Rochdale police station, overheard the control room call and offered to help as he has experience with keeping snakes.

>It was taken back to the station before being transferred into the care of the RSPCA.

>The reptile, white with black eyes, is believed to be a northern pine snake and Det Con Wallace thinks it might be an escaped pet that got into the house during recent warm weather.
>> No. 102172 ID: 0a2b37
File 142854102945.png - (402.78KB , 496x370 , 10255504_828070417213971_2439573847265328909_n.png )

I had a summer job at a pool supply store as a teen, was right next to a marshy area and there was lots of tarps out back. Clearing snakes was a regular part of the business. In PA of course, I could only imagine doing the same job in Flawda.
>> No. 102202 ID: cb5ffa
  Head teachers to report parents to police and social services if they let their children play Grand Theft Auto or Call of Duty


>Parents are in danger of being reported to police by their children's head teachers if they allow them to play video games for over 18s.

>A letter sent by a group of schools in Cheshire raised concerns about the 'levels of violence and sexual content' young people are being exposed to by playing games such as Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto, which are renowned for their violent characters and have an 18 classification.

>It warns that if teachers are made aware their pupils have been playing these video games they will contact police and social services.

>The letter also warns: 'If your child is allowed to have inappropriate access to any game or associated product that is designated 18+ we are advised to contact the Police and Children’s Social Care as it is neglectful.'

>Mature games are for mature gamers! Let your kid play these games and we'll take him away! Don't worry there is plenty of new immigrant Muslim families that are always looking for children to groom and take care of!

Maybe this will finally get rid of the scourge of online gaming, British children.
>> No. 102220 ID: cb5ffa
File 142886598020.jpg - (38.82KB , 626x425 , respectherobot.jpg )
Sorry for the double post, but I saw this and couldn't resist.

>A Turkish politician who has been the Mayor of Ankara since 1994 is currently being sued after unveiling a 20-foot-tall metal robot in the city.

>Taxpayers hit the roof when Mayor Melih Gökçek pulled the sheet off his Transformer-like masterpiece, saying it is an enormous waste of their money – and rightly so, as he blew a pretty big budget on it.

After the public backlash, Gökçek simply replied ‘Respect the robot’, which surprisingly only made things worse.

>> No. 102231 ID: 90a126
What the hell is it supposed to be? It looks like a Zaku 1 but not.
>> No. 102232 ID: 39d859
Thats no Zaku boy
>> No. 102239 ID: 79a319
File 142894410890.jpg - (39.67KB , 500x289 , image.jpg )
Police in South Carolina arrested a North Charleston woman Monday night after she allegedly stabbed her roommate multiple times for refusing to stop playing music by the classic rock band The Eagles.

According to the official report, Vernett Bader, 54, became irritated with her 64-year-old roommate (and one-time boyfriend) after he rejected her pleas to turn off the Eagles and told her to "shut up."

Bader then entered the kitchen and grabbed a serrated knife, which she subsequently used to stab her roommate several times in the arm, hand, and elbow.

The roommate and his brother managed to wrestle the knife away from Bader, but she quickly retrieved another from the kitchen.

All three were intoxicated at the time, per the report.

It's unclear which of the band's songs drove Bader over the edge, but police have narrowed down the possible suspects to "Witchy Woman," "Take It Easy," "Peaceful Easy Feeling," "Take It to the Limit," "One of These Nights," "Tequila Sunrise," and "Hotel California" on repeat.

Bader confessed to the crime, but claimed it was an act of self-defense to counter her roommate's choking.

Investigators say Bader did not have any visible marks on her neck.

Police charged Bader with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature and she was booked into the Charleston County jail, where she remained held as of this afternoon.

>> No. 102271 ID: adfbaa
To be fair, The Eagles suck.

I remember when my mom called the cops and said I choked her. I told them "I never choked her. I punched her. She punched me and started throwing things like heavy candles at me, so I punched her and shoved her against a wall to stop her." Cops like honesty, they threatened to charge her if she called again.
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