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112114 No. 112114 ID: 415c05
Do they make Monster differently in Poland?
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>> No. 112115 ID: 301082
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112115
I hope you weren't buying Monster energy drinks for Mother's Day.
As I have stated many times, no matter what the occasion, booze satisfies!

Alcoholic Parent Easy To Shop For
SIESTA KEY, FL—Saying that it was simple and straightforward to locate a gift that their mother would enjoy, the children of alcoholic Alison Cassidy confirmed Friday that she was pretty easy to shop for. “It’s cool that we don’t have to get stressed out running around to a bunch of different shops when we can just duck into the liquor store and arrive at her house with the perfect present,” said Lance Cassidy, 24, telling reporters that he knew his mother would love anything he picked out with an ABV of 20 percent or higher. “Of course, all of us kids try and find some special booze that she has an emotional connection to, but at the end of the day, I know she’d be just as happy with a huge plastic bottle of Popov as some finely aged small-batch bourbon as long as it came from us and will get her absolutely shitfaced.” Cassidy added that he and his siblings faced significantly greater challenges shopping for their father who almost always exchanged whatever they gave him for cash to feed his gambling addiction. https://www.theonion.com/alcoholic-parent-easy-to-shop-for-1825963285
>> No. 112116 ID: 301082
  For house or beach parties, my friends and I made cheap "jungle juice" and here's a typical recipe:
Booze on a Budget - The $40 Jungle Juice - Tipsy Bartender https://youtu.be/W404U8I4a10
$40 JUNGLE JUICE
3 (1.75L) Vodka
1 Gal. Hawaiian Punch
1 (2L) Lemonade
1 (2L) Pink Lemonade
1 Gal. Citrus Punch
4 Oranges
>> No. 112117 ID: 301082
  >>112114
Maybe the Polish Monster energy drink has more Satan in it?
Woman says why she believes Monster Energy drinks are from Satan - Daily Mail https://youtu.be/TjB3dO6hVwc
A BMX champion has dropped Monster Energy as his sponsors because, he says, their logo and advertising are unchristian. Two-time X-Games gold medalist and newly minted Mormon Colton Satterfield (pictured left and right) announced last week that he was ditching Monster Energy drink. 'The decision was not a light one by any means,' he said in a statement. 'I regret something seemingly so small, to some, as logos and various marketing, has to divide us; but I know it is the correct decision for me.' It's unclear what disturbed him about the logo (inset), but some Christian conspiracy theorists say that the claw mark symbol represents the Hebrew letter 'vav' three times. Since 'vav' means six, the logo theoretically spells '666' - the number of Satan.
>> No. 112119 ID: 6e9258
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112119
>>112114
Shouldn't be any more different than one White Spirit from another. The licensed products are produced by same standard, plus there's a different package for every region of distribution.

>>112117
I wonder if there's any Christian energy drinks out there, except for traditional ones.

>Hebrew letter
As if it wasn't enough of a hint in the slogan.
>> No. 112120 ID: 301082
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112120
New Monster Energy Defibrillator Touts 1,200 Volts Delivered Straight To Heart
CORONA, CA—Boasting that their edgy new product was intended “solely for hardcore adrenaline junkies who want to grab life by the balls,” Monster Energy unveiled Friday their new defibrillator, a black-and-acid-green portable recreational unit they claim is capable of delivering 1,200 volts straight to the heart. “This is a product meant for the active consumer who starts their workday, their night out, and their weekend like goddamn Frankenstein,” Monster CEO Rodney Sacks said in an introductory video, which also claimed that each 50-amp serving packs enough current to “unleash the beast” and permanently damage the central nervous systems of poseurs. “Slap our Monster-brand saline electrode gel on the pads, slap the pads on your chest, and slap your heart across its bitch face. Whether you’re at work, the gym, or the club, the Monster Defibrillator only needs 10 milliseconds to make you feel like Genghis Khan fucking a yeti. For that extra kick, mix with vodka.” At press time, specialists at Corona Medical Center said Sacks was expected to recover completely from the extensive arc burns to his organs and spinal column. https://www.theonion.com/new-monster-energy-defibrillator-touts-1-200-volts-deli-1825951753


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